A Transgender Story - Michelle | Official Short Film | LGBTQ | Documentary

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I'm nothing but an sex object to some by Tommie Howard

I'm nothing but an sex object to some and an Space Alien too others since I've gender bender this last eight months my family has ostracized me on to death, and a good friend who was a conservative Republican excepted me for the person I am but my friend just died and now I live in a world that is big and vast to me. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere, my wife's family is having a wedding for a family member this month and I'm not even invited matter if fake this same person has gone out of his way to say mean things about me. I've always been a good person and worked hard and been good to everybody. Also this same relative has lots of gay and lesbon contact sometimes on a daily basis but me a transgender lady doesn't deserve to live or I'm demon oppressed as one person called me. So what do I do well everybody can go to hell and I'm really going to become a real woman now even if I'm all alone I feel at least I will keep my self respect and I know who I am now which is more than others can say I'm also a rape survivor from childhood. I'm going to start living my life from now on as little Tommie Howard and the rest of the world can go to the devil, except for a few of my supportive friends and my friend Dr. White who I think has help support my transgender life.

No Matter the Law by Marykaye Hemphill

To Those Who Are Unwilling To Accept Me,

                I’m sorry you are unable to accept me for me, I know it’s because of your religion, culture, maybe it’s because you’ve been influenced by others, or maybe lack of education on the subject, or maybe it’s just your own personal belief. I just wished that when we meet, and I promise we will, because people like me aren’t just going to disappear into thin air, that we can put our personal beliefs aside and really get to know one another. You don’t have to understand me or my ways, to like me.

                I’m sure that you’ve heard, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, that’s all I’m asking. I see myself as a woman, but you may see a man in a dress wearing make-up. And that’s completely fine, just don’t treat me less than you would any other. Put down your hatred for a minute, and you might see, maybe not on the outside, but within, you and I will probably have a few things in common.

                People like us, we go through quite a lot, and we could use another friend!

Sincerely,
Chloe F.
26/MTF/Chicago 

"Pretend Man"

I never know when to give vs when to give in I'm always wearing myself thin dim lit in the eyes living dark lies as a man who everyone thought they could understand I step back to breath feeling weak in my knees I gasp for fresh air to become more aware that there is none.

-Alexis Marie Davis

It's new for me to be a strong women

It's new for me to be a strong women, as a man I've always been told to grow a pair or man up or "I need a man not a women".
As a women I know I can be just as strong I've came out to a large portion of my friends as a women I know I can do close to everything a man can I just want to be appreciated for who I truthfully am~Alexis
More to my life story will be added soon <3

I had a dream,

I had a dream, I was in a dark room with a girl my age she had the same facial structure as I, we where trapped but I saw an opening in the ceiling I knew I hadmy freedom as a man and it was time to have my freedom as a women I helped lift her to the opening and as she crawled out I woke up! -Alexis

Stranger in the mirror By Kaine Gregory St.Amour

Stranger in the mirror
By Kaine Gregory St.Amour
Age :20
Michigan USA

" hey you !" I call to a face I don't recognize , their eyes are dead and so full of anguish from all the weight life has piled on that it is threatening to spill out of them...again.
" who are you ?" I breathe " have I met you ?"
They just shake their head in response , their jaw clenched tight . Just .staring . I reach out to touch them in a feeble attempt to comfort this broken stranger. But I am met only by an icy sheet of glass .

The puzzle Man By Kaine Gregory St.Amour

 ftm 20 yrs old 
California USA
he sat in the warm water in his white t shirt and his pale blue swim trunks. " What are you so ashamed of?" he demanded of himself. " there is nothing wrong with your body it works just fine and you insist on hiding it" He heaved a heavy sigh. He would figure it out later. There was no good answer really , other than there were things that just didn't seem to fit. He was like a puzzle, he needed to put his peices where they belonged.

My story is more of a comment.

I have never in my life craved dark chocolate like I do now. My hormones must be array. I read that in a womens period cycle thatmany women crave dark chocolate. The chocolate stimulates the bodys endorphins to counter anxiety & depression during a womens cycle. I can not have a child or experience a real period as genetic women does, but I kind of like the chocolate crave that women experience.
~Pamala Flinn

How my transition made me the man I am today

Zach Brookes 

I’m FTM transgender on the autistic spectrum, I’m from Birmingham been transition under the NHS for nearly 2 years I’m 6 months on testosterone, My hobbies are playing/coaching tennis, promoting/ passionate in doing awareness about my transition story to people and recently got a role for Stonewall’s Trans Advisory group member.

My inspirational transgender person who inspired me to come out for who I am is Renee Richards who was the first trans person to compete in a grand slam because she campaigned on her right to compete as the gender she want be in an that’s how she inspired me to become the man I am today.

I was little (age of 5) I felt like I was trapped in the wrong gender because I felt like my out would appearance and my sociology in my mind was completely male but the most uncomfortable thing is in the inside of my body because something wasn’t completely right at the time because it felt really uncomfortable it affected my self-confidence around people which was very disappointing for me cause I know my confidence is out there but I found hard to show it to people. When I was growing up I wanted to explain to my mom that I felt like I got identity issues cause I kept feeling uncomfortable when people kept asking me if I’m boy or girl and girls at school were telling me to go to the boys toilets cause of dressing as a boy felt really angry and emotional.

I wanted to see a specialist about it because it kept distressing me and my mom said “ you have to wait until your eighteen to discuss with a specialist “. When I was at mainstream college I had a lot of bullying about my identity, people were laughing about how I dress which I found really annoying and emotional, I didn’t have very good support with issues with my identity. I came out to my parents and my 3 sisters for example I told my mom via letter in the summer and my dad and I told my sisters when I had my name badge changed when I started college. I felt like it took the pressure of me explaining to them that I’m born male than female at the time. I told my nan via letter 2 years later because I felt like I didn’t want to keep secrets from her anymore because It was stressing me out with her saying the wrong pronouns at the time. In the family the response are positive like my mom is very supportive and my dad found it hard at first but he started to get used to it. I transferred to a specialist college in September 2013 I came out properly as male at the college I never expected support from everyone at the college. They did a lot of work with me to try and get a referral to a Sheffield Gender Clinic because in July 2013 the local GP forgot to write the paper work for the referral to the clinic. They supported me in going with me to my appointment while my parents are at work because at the time my appointments were during my college days so my parents couldn’t take the time of work for them to come and support me through my journey now I go to my appointments on my own without support from college or my parents now so that’s how I build my confidence in travelling. In December 2013 I came out to my tennis coaches after months of feeling isolated to tell them that I’m transgender they responded really well they support as much as their can to help me with the process I am now.The week after my 20th birthday on the 28th February 2015 I have signed to say that I’m taking testosterone gel for the rest of my life I felt so relieved after a long wait with assessments and everything else I have finally waited for cure I need to start hormone therapy. On 10th August I went up to the clinic and got my prescription for the gel when I put it on for the first it really great. For the past 6 months it’s been challenging and being on t has made my self-confidence grow sky high and more happier and now I’m waiting for a referral to having top surgery in Brighten and hoping to break free from having chest dysphoria that’s my goal is for 2016 and hopefully to move on to bottom surgery in the future. My hopes for the future is to go out into schools and colleges to transfer my story to people and to make the society more educated about how to treat transgender people in daily life. My quote to everyone; Every day I always feel positive every time I go to my appointments or go to college whether I’m feeling happy or sad inside or outside cause I know that it will take months or years till I break free from being in the wrong gender but I’m a like a soldier who travels miles away to end war but fighting with the NHS to give me the treatment so I can break free from it all start fresh life as a man who got nothing to hide anymore.

So I'm not quite sure what I've chosen to write for this but I feel like I need to.

I'm Calix. I'm Female To Male Transgender.

I never thought of how many people I would loose when I came out. My own father didn't talk to me for months. My parents are just pretending that I'm still their little girl. I'm not. I'm a man. I'll always be a man. I've been a man this entire time. Even though I'm too scared to go out in public that doesn't change a thing. I'm graduating highschool in two months. And leaving my femininity behind. I'll be free. It's all that's keeping me from spiraling back into depression. Apart from my friends and significant other's support. I know they will always love and care for me. I know this is inconsistent and I cut out all the abuse and the four times in 2016 I've been jumped and beaten but really. The bad times don't matter. What matters is the good times. Like when I was called male for the first time. Or when I met another transgender male outside of the Internet. When he helped me out my first binder on. The first time I've heard "You're just one of the guys." All the memories that make me happy. Things are getting better. There's more days where I can go to class feeling like masculinity is radiating off of me. There will be so many more bad days but I have hope the good days will outnumber the bad.

Alex by Anonymous

Alex
Everyone has that one friend who changes their life in ways which they can't completely understand. Maybe it's drastic and extreme, or perhaps it's more subtle--a more quiet metamorphosis. But either way, its an irreversible change and not one that you'd ever want to change. For me, that friend was Alex.

And at first glance, who was Alex? She was the shy girl who didn't really fit in. Maybe it was glasses that she wore before hipsters made them cool or the fact that she would often speak in riddles. At least, that's what they felt like if you weren't studied in the linguistic nightmare that I've come to affectionately know as Alex-ese. Of all her qualities that truly made her stand out though--her heart. I honestly believe that's why she didn't fit in and that's why she would never fit in.

In a world of blacks, whites, and the muddied grey that comes from mixing the two--Alex was something else. A stroke of red, a dash of gold, and splash of green in a world that was otherwise monochrome. And it showed by how the world viewed her.
If you knew Alex, you knew that she was dorky. That she would snort when she laughed too hard or that she would cry during the sappy moments of a romantic comedy. That she had a funny walk and a crooked smile. You knew that she was special. That she was a rare flower in a world that could use more beauty. You knew that Alexandra Collins was the kind of person who we should all strive to be like.

But the world had other plans for her. Other, less bright, plans. Which is why I'm writing this with tears running down my cheeks and my heart falling harder than ever. Because somebody made a decision. A decision that Alex did not deserve to live, because she was different.

A fag.

A tranny.

A trap.

And I would like to say that I hate you. And you know who you are--I may not, but you do. I would love nothing more than to say that I hope your life is cut short in the most horrific fashion. But I can not. I can not hate you. No matter how much I want to.
Because you took Alex not only from me. Not only from this community. Not only from this world which languishes in the absence of people who exemplify the greatness of humanity in the ways which she did.

You took her from yourself.
You never saw who Alex truly was. You never got to know the way she'd smile when we would discuss her dreams of being a doctor. Yeah. She wanted to be a doctor. So she could help people, even people like you.

You never got to witness the gasp she'd make when you told her something that surprised her. The way her entire body would jerk in amazement.

You never got to experience how she'd ramble for hours about her new video game that she's just so excited about that she can't control herself.

You deprived yourself of the person who would irreversibly change your life, for the better. And that is why I can not hate you. Because no matter what malice I wish, what ill will I may bear, I can imagine no fate worse than having never known Alex.

~Anonymous

Dear past me,

There is so much I wish I could tell you in person, but all I've got is a laptop and story. So I guess I will begin by saying, just be you, don't be scared of what people think, people will judge you regardless, so give them a reason to. Another thing is the right people will be by your side, don't worry about having to do this alone, you've got great friends.

I get family is going to be a struggle. I've lived through it, but I promise in the end you make your own decisions, so don't let them scare you into believing you are just crazy and don't know what you're talking about, because let's face it, you've done your research and you know more on the topic than they may ever know.

Be strong, I know it is going to be hard, but truth is, life wasn't meant to be easy. So you've got to be strong and understand there are ups and downs to life, patience is also key sometimes all you can do it wait.

Remember who you were, I know it sounds silly and it may seem counterintuitive, but remember, because that is why you made this far, "We all change when you think about it, We're all different people all through our lives, and that's okay, you've gotta keep moving, so long you remember all the people you used to be."

And finally, hold on to those people who stayed my your side through it all. The'll need you at some point, and what kind of friend dumps the people who helped them to the top?

These words I leave,
Evalyn

Here is another story by written December 16, 2012

Depression! Why is love so hard to find? Why does every woman turn on me the instant I ask them out? Am I just destined to be alone? Why do I feel so wrong when I do finally get a date? Is it because I have known I am a girl at heart since I was a small child? Is this why my ex left me and our daughter, because she could not be with another woman?

If I transition to be the woman I know I am, will I find the love of another person waiting for me? Will I finally be happy with who and what I am? Or am I destined to be alone for the rest of my life? Why is life so hard for me? Would anyone truly miss me if I was not around except for my daughter? Can anyone be truly happy without love in their life?

I know I am heterosexual in my male body; I can’t bring myself to have sex with a man while I am a man. However I can’t see myself having sex with a woman as a woman. So with the mind and heart of a woman and the body of a man does that make me homosexual by going to bed with a woman? If I wake my body female and go to bed with a man am I heterosexual or homosexual?

How can I go on if no one can love me for me? How will my daughter feel about me once I finish becoming the woman I know I am? How will my homophobic father feel about when he finally learns the truth about his only son? What will happen to me if I cannot finish my transition from male to female? Will people accept me as a she-male or will I be rejected altogether?

If my life was to end today would anyone truly care and what would they care about? Would my daughter be better off without me in her life since I only get to see her once a week because my job keeps me away from her? Would my sister morn my loss even though she has rejected me for what I am or would she be relieved I can no longer corrupt her children as she puts it?

I want to know the joy of getting pregnant. The joy of having a new life grow within me. And the joy of bringing that life into the world through child birth. But alas I will never know such joy. I was born male and after 35 years as such my body is irreversibly male in every way. Had I been able to start HRT when I was 10-12 years old I might be able to get a special surgery to let me know the joy of child birth. The bones of the male are shaped wrong and the Organs are in the wrong place and some are even to big. The male brain is even so different that it will not allow for the development of a new life in the body.

The closest I will ever come to knowing the joy I seek is through the stories of others. If anyone is willing to share.

Written by Rose Kincade
Age: 37
Bloomington, Indiana
MtF Transwoman.

The Mask - A MtoF short by Heidi Benner

The mask, I wore a mask over the years.
I never knew I wore a mask because I always assumed I knew or was happy with who I was born as.
But then she called out to me, she said "hey, I know you think you're happy with being who you appear to be on the outside." "But I don't think you're really happy with who you are, am I right?" I had to think for awhile about what she said to me and get back to her. "I told her I'm not satisfied with being something I'm not." "All this time I never realized I'm a girl." "But you helped awaken me!" "My eyes are open and I can see clearly now." I realized she was trying to tell me I'm actually wearing a mask, and that I needed to discard my mask. So I took off the mask and opened my eyes to see who I really am, and that's when I realized that I'm actually not what I appear as on the outside. But the question is... Who was "she?" "She" was "me" telling me to understand and realize who I've always meant to be my whole life. And so the mask was gone and I became the real me.

If you only knew - A M to F short by Heidi Benner

If you only knew how I feel.
If you only knew what it's like to have an appearance of a gender that doesn't fit you.
If you only knew how I want the body that fits how I should be.
If you only knew that transgender women are women too.
If you only knew that being transgender isn't a choice.
If you only knew that being transgender female doesn't mean I necessarily will like or date men.
If you only knew that transgender women are beautiful too.
If you only knew that transgender women have feelings too.
If you only knew that being transgender doesn't make you a freak.
If you only knew that I'll be happy how I see fit and I don't have to conform to society's standards.

They say-a M to F short by Heidi Benner

They say I'm broken but I'm not broken.

They say it's a phase but I know the real me.
They say it's gross but why?
They say I'm confused but they aren't me.
They say because I'm a girl I must like guys but according to who?
They say I have to stay as the gender I appear to be on the outside but why be unhappy?
They say it's my parents fault, but they don't realize my parents don't control me or my feelings.
They say I'm a freak but I don't care what they say.
They say I should die but I want to live.
They say I'm stupid but I'm smart for understanding and loving the real me.

It doesn't change-a M to F short by Heidi Benner

Just because I'm embracing and becoming the real me, doesn't change everything about me.

It doesn't change my love for science.
It doesn't change my love for being a gamer.
It doesn't change the fact that romantically I love women.
It doesn't change what movies, tv shows, and other entertainment I love.
But what does change is how I look at life, with zest, with happiness, with my own purpose, with my true self right here and right now.

On the outside looking in...A MtoF short by Heidi Benner

I was on the outside looking in...

Looking with a huge grin.
I have a false appearance.
And I just looked at them.....
Wondering what it must be like...
"What is it like to be a woman?"
But I have a fake self I wear on the outside...
I look like a guy but deep down I'm really one of them.
"What can I do to become a woman?"
"To be one of them?"
'Well" I said to myself "I am a woman, but only match that on the inside."
"I need to get on hormones to have my physical self match my inner self."
And so the journey began...
The journey to happiness...

Lost and found - a M to F short by Heidi Benner

Lost and found-a M to F short by Heidi Benner
Lost...... And Found....
Lost in my own skin....until I found my real skin.
Lost in my birth name... until I found my real name.
Lost in my old clothes... I found my new clothes.
Lost, who am I really?....Found, I know who I am.
Lost, the path isn't clear...Found, the future is bright.
Lost, I look like a boy on the outside... Found, the real me is a girl.
People think I'm lost... I found out people are wrong.
Lost my mind..I found my sanity.
Lost are ones who aren't true to themselves...Found are the ones who embrace their real self.
Lost is how society treats transgender people bad...Found is the community of beautiful transgender women who support us.
Don't worry if you think you're lost...As soon as you found the real you then you're no longer lost.